


Going Or Staying

by AlexisDawn



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexisDawn/pseuds/AlexisDawn
Summary: Olivia realizes she's in love with Elliot. It might be too late, but she has to decide if it's worth possibly losing her best friend. Will Elliot choose Kathy or will he finally realize what has been in front of him all along? Post "Dependent".
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler
Kudos: 5





	1. Give Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show.  
> Notes: This story takes place after Season 8, Episode 14 “Dependent”.
> 
> This chapter was edited in January 2021, so minor changes to the grammar and story were made.

It was an eerily quiet day at the 1-6. Everyone not in court for the day was sitting around finishing their paperwork. After the most recent case, where IAB accused a cop from their own force of killing a kid, everyone has been letting their thoughts linger on the different topics it had brought up. For one, Olivia Benson, the case affected her the most. You see the cop that was allegedly accused but -finally- found innocent was none other than her partner, her best friend, and her long-time secret crush, the one man that made her go weak at the knees. Elliot Stabler.They have been partners for the last eight and a half years. In those years she has seen him cry, laugh, and be at his most temperamental. He was married and had four children when she had first met him but now he is a single, good-looking cop. He was good looking before, but now she doesn’t have the same guilt any time she snuck a glance at him while working. Olivia knew something was wrong with him last night. She saved his ass from being put in jail and all he did was give her a nod and left.

Olivia Benson had walked into the precinct in the morning to find her partner Elliot Stabler was already there. She noticed a very different expression on his face. He seemed…happy. Like someone took all the weight off his shoulders.

Olivia went to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup of coffee, knowing it was made by Cragen and not Munch. He was in court that morning testifying about a previous case. She walked over to her desk, placing her coffee down as she took her jacket off and flung it around the back of her chair. She sat down and took a warm sip of the coffee that was in front of her, seeing her partner had already started tackling their paperwork.

“Elliot," Olivia had said.

"Yeah Liv,” Elliot said using his nickname for her as he looked up.

"Where did you disappear to last night after court? I was going to talk to you.”

“Oh," was the only reply that came out of Elliot Stabler's mouth. "I went to talk to Kathy. I asked her to come home.”

"Oh...okay,” was the only words that could come out of Olivia's mouth. She tried not to look hurt, but she had really loved her partner and although it had pained her when she found out about his and Kathy's divorce, as she saw the toll it took on him, she also had a sense of relief. She could not believe that anyone would give up someone like Elliot. He was sweet, sexy, and charming. He was dedicated to his job, friends but most importantly his family. She knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. The relief she felt? Well, that was more to do with her and her guilt. The guilt she felt for being in love with a married man.

“We talked and she said I could come back home. She said she missed me. Isn’t this great? I get to be back with my kids again. It sucked seeing them every other week,” Elliot told her, grinning as he went back to continue his paperwork.

Olivia now was almost in tears. Sure, she was happy he got to see his kids more often and would be with them again. All she wants is to see him happy. The issue was with her hope, it was now broken. Shattered, like her heart. Little fragments of it spread out in front of her, for her to stare at.  
"That's great El. I am very happy for you.”

What Olivia did not know was that her best friend Casey was standing behind her by the entrance as she watched this exchange take place, somewhat shocked at how quick a day made. Casey was the only one that knew about Olivia’s feelings for her partner.

Realizing she had to do something, Casey made her presence known as she walked quickly towards Olivia. She grabbed Olivia’s elbow, signaling her to stand and follow her.

“Olivia, let us go someplace else and get you out of here.”

Olivia nodded as she stood, not trusting her voice, afraid she may start crying at that very moment.

Hearing what Casey said, Elliot looked up and asked “Olivia, what’s wrong?”

“She and I just need to talk Elliot,” Casey said as she led Olivia up the stairs to go to the cribs, as the wondering eyes followed them till they could no longer see.


	2. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am extremely bad at updating, but I am going to try to get better. I have written other stuff since this was first posted, so check those stories out as well!Also, I realize some of this may be out of character but just go with it.
> 
> The question IAB asks Olivia is the question that was originally in the promo for the episode “Philadelphia”, but asked by Rebecca Hendrix.
> 
> “Do you have any romantic feelings for Detective Stabler?”

Standing at the door to the cribs, seeing no one else in the room, they closed the door and sat down on one of the beds facing each other.

“Casey, how can he be getting back with her?”

"I don't know Liv. I know you love him, but maybe Kathy and Elliot are supposed to be together. I mean he keeps going back to her. It’s just causing you pain dealing with it.”

At that point, Olivia broke down in tears. "I..I just can't do this anymore Casey." Olivia sobbed, her face in her hands, 

“I know honey, believe me, I know,” Casey said, rubbing Olivia’s back as she cried.

After she was finished crying, Olivia cleaned her face, took a deep breath, and looked at Casey, unsure of what to do next.

“Why don’t we go back downstairs before the guys come up here. We can do something tonight and talk more about this,” Casey suggested to Olivia.

Nodding, she got up and followed Casey out the door back to her desk.

Concerned, Elliot asked ”Olivia are you okay? Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine El, I just need to talk to Casey.”

"You know if you ever need to talk, I am here for you. We are partners.”

“Yeah, I know and I appreciate it.” Turning to Casey, she asked, “Hey, do you wanna come over tonight, we can watch a couple of movies and have some wine?”

“Sounds like fun, why not. I’ll grab some ice cream too and we can watch some comedies, get out of our heads for a bit.”

Hearing the captain’s door open, they turned just as he yelled, “Benson, Stabler in my office now!”

"What did you two do now?" Casey asked muffling her chuckle. Elliot and Olivia just rolled their eyes and walked into Cragen’s office not knowing what they were in trouble for.

"Sit" was all Cragen said when they came through the doors of his office.

Knowing better to argue, at least till they found out why he was mad, they both took a seat across from Cragen.

“IAB got the results of your review Olivia. They want to suspend you. Do you know why they want to suspend one of my best detectives? How about you Stabler, do you know why?”

Shaking his head, Elliot looked between Olivia and the captain and said, “No, I have no idea what is going on.”

Sighing, Olivia glanced at Elliot before looking back at her captain.

”No sir, I don't know why they want to suspend me,” Olivia said knowing this was a lie. They wanted to suspend her because she walked out during one of the questions.

“You walked out Olivia. You walked out of an official IAB investigation. Do you know how bad that looks?” He questioned her, wondering what would possess her to leave something that important.

“Yes, and I understand it looks bad, but I just couldn’t answer the question they asked me.”

“I know what they asked you, Benson. Was is it that your answer was yes, or you just decided to walk out for fun. Maybe you got a kick out of it?”

“Don, with all due respect, you know me. You know why I couldn’t answer that. If you don’t know why then you don’t know me at all. I don’t want to be suspended, but if you have to then fine,” Olivia said as she gave him a sad smile turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

“Olivia, what happened in there?” Casey asked, seeing Olivia leave the office, annoyed.

“IAB wants to suspend me. I refused to answer one question that they shouldn’t have even asked, so they want me to suspend me. Let them. I’m done.” She said, grabbing her coat from the back of her chair and putting it on.

“How come you didn’t answer it? Even if you lied, it would have got you off the hook.”

“I was going to be guilty either way, Casey. I say yes, they separate us. I say no, given our history, they will think I am lying. I was screwed either way. This way, at least no one has to know my real answer.”

“What did they ask anyway?”

“They asked if I had romantic feelings for Elliot.”

“What is your real answer?”

“You know what my answer is Casey. Yes, of course, I do,” Olivia said sighing, feeling both mentally and physically exhausted.

What Olivia didn’t know, was that Elliot had stepped out of Cragen’s office and heard her entire confession.

Realizing that Elliot was there, Casey’s eyes widened, seeing him staring at Liv shocked.

“Liv…”

Hearing this, Olivia turned and saw Elliot standing by the door, shocked.

Realizing Elliot heard her confession, Olivia shook her head and walked out of the squad room, hearing Casey call for her to come back.


End file.
